


Diamond in the Rough

by pure1magination



Category: Aladdin (1992), Captain America (Movies), Fantastic Four, Marvel, X-Men: The Animated Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Aladdin (1992) Fusion, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Sleeping Beauty Fusion, Bucky Barnes Feels, M/M, Multiple Points of View, transgender Johnny Storm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 05:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2640014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pure1magination/pseuds/pure1magination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aladdin AU<br/>in which Johnny Storm is Princess Jasmine,<br/>Charles Xavier is the Sultan,<br/>Raven is Jafar,<br/>Remy LeBeau is Aladdin,<br/>and Bucky Barnes is the Genie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Diamond in the Rough

**Author's Note:**

> Things To Be Aware Of:  
> -Charles has not yet met Erik as of the beginning of this fic, and so can still walk  
> -headcanon: Johnny and Remy are pansexual and give zero fucks about it  
> -Stucky shippers: be patient. Steve is in there, I promise.

Our story begins on a dark night, where a dark woman waits with a dark purpose. She sits upon her horse, black as the sky above her head, with a hood shading her features, all except her startling yellow eyes.

A second woman rides up on a horse, wearing a much brighter cloak— bright yellow, in fact— over her bright pink shirt and black leggings. She dismounts her pony and proudly produces something gold between her hands. The dark woman is pleased.

“Ah-ah-ah!” the bright woman warns playfully. “You’re not gettin’ this until you give me my reward!” She pops her pink bubble gum.

The dark woman glowers, drawing herself up taller. Her stooge, crouched over beside her horse in the sand, chuckles. It is an ugly sound. He glances at the dark woman, who nods. Her stooge hops closer, much like a frog, and sticks out his alarmingly long tongue. Quick as a flash, the gold object disappears from between the bright woman’s hands, stuck to the tip of the froglike man’s tongue. He unsticks the gold object and proudly hands it to the dark woman, grinning.

The bright woman seems confused. But also indignant. “Aw don’t tell me you’re cheapin’ out on me!” She pouts. “I did all this work for nuthin’?!”

“Relax,” commands the dark woman, producing a matching piece of gold from beneath her cloak. “You’ll get what’s coming to you.”

The ugly froglike man chuckles again.

The dark woman connects the two pieces of gold. Immediately, there is a bright flash, the gold pieces turn into a beetle, and the glowing gold beetle begins zipping away across the sand. “After it!” the dark woman commands, spurring her horse into a gallop.

The bright woman scrambles onto her horse and follows, intent on getting her pay. She doesn’t care what the froglike man is doing.

The golden beetle zips between several sand dunes, with the dark woman in hot pursuit. Suddenly, the beetle splits into two again and, still glowing, embeds its two halves into a rather large sand dune. The sand dune begins to shake. It grows and morphs into a giant tiger’s head.

“At last,” the dark woman whispers, “After all my years of searching. The cave of wonders!”

By the time the bright woman and the ugly froglike man have arrived, the sand dune has begun to speak. _“Who disturbs my slumber?”_ the gigantic tiger’s head rumbles.

The ugly toadlike man pushes the bright woman forward.

“All right, all right, I’m goin’!” she huffs, disgusted. To the tiger, she replies, “Uh. Hi. I’m Jubilee. And I’m kind of surprised you can talk?”

The tiger rumbles over her last sentence: _“Only one may enter here: the one whose worth lies far within. The diamond in the rough.”_

Jubilee shoots a questioning look back at the dark woman.

“Go on,” the dark woman urges. “Take whatever you want; that cave is full of treasure. All I want is the lamp at its centre.”

Jubilee’s eyes widen. “Hot diggity dog! What am I doin’ out here then!” She eagerly scrambles into the cave.

No sooner has she entered than the tiger roars. Jubilee screams as she is suddenly covered in sand. The cave collapses within seconds, leaving behind no trace of itself beyond the large sand dune that had previously been there. The two halves of the beetle reappear where the tiger’s eyes once were, and their glow fades away as they tumble to the ground at the dark woman’s feet. The tiger’s voice rumbles with increasing faintness: _“Diamond in the rough…”_ The voice rumbles away into nothing, echoing across the desert.

“Well _that_ went well,” snickers the ugly froglike man.

The dark woman glares at him. She points wordlessly to the pieces of the beetle, lying on the sand. The ugly froglike man hops over to them and retrieves them, then offers them to his master. She pockets them in her cloak. “Jubilation Lee was obviously less-than-worthy,” she says coldly.

She stares at the large sand dune where the Cave of Wonders had been moments before. “Very well,” she says, mostly to herself. “We must find this ‘diamond in the rough.’”

* * *

“Stop, thief!” bellows an angry voice in the distance. Remy Lebeau has no intention of stopping. He continues running through the streets of Agrabah, darting in random directions. It is all Kurt can do to keep up. Kurt has to use his tail several times to balance himself as he follows Remy around tight corners and through narrow alleyways.

To his great surprise, after he rounds a corner, he comes face-to-face with his captors. He turns around, Kurt following close behind, and runs in the opposite direction.

“I’ll have your hands for a trophy, street rat!” bellows the angry voice again, the voice of the head guard.

“Catch meh if ya can!” Remy taunts over his shoulder, scrambling up a staircase to the top of a building. The guards follow him. Remy jumps off the side of the building, bouncing and sliding off several clotheslines on his way down. By the time he lands on the ground, he is covered in a pile of other people’s clothes. Kurt lands heavily beside him.

“You won’t get away so easy!” shouts the head guard, furious.

“Ya think that was easy?” Remy quips. Nearby, several women giggle. Remy winks at them, unburies himself from the clothes pile, and takes off running again.

“Wait for me!” Kurt calls after him.

Remy doesn’t slow down. He knows Kurt can keep up.

In order to hide from the guards, he slips into a brothel. The women are all happy to see him, and happy to flirt with him, but he tells them “Alas, chere, Ah am unable to pay your charge.” The woman closest to him rolls her eyes and offers what he really came there for: the outfit he has worn several times before. He hurriedly strips out of his clothes and changes into the same outfit the other prostitutes are all wearing. Poofy pants, revealing top, veil for his face.

This disguise has yet to fail him.

He waits until he is sure the coast is clear.

The man in the alley signals the woman in the window.

“All clear,” she says to Remy.

Remy leisurely changes into his former outfit. Kurt comes out of hiding. “Thank ya, chere.” Remy winks at her. She rolls her eyes, smiling.

Remy and Kurt exit the building with their stolen goods: two apples and a loaf of bread. They are about to start eating when they see a group of children, obviously beggars, get turned down from the most recent door they knocked on. It is quiet in the alleyway, so he can hear one of their stomachs grumble. He shares a glance with Kurt. There is deep pity and sympathy in Kurt’s eyes. Remy sighs and approaches the children. “Wan’ some bread?” He offers them the loaf.

The children all frown, suspicious.

Remy rolls his eyes and shoves it closer. “Here. Take it. Ya need it more than Ah do.”

One of the children’s stomachs grumbles again. The oldest steps forward and accepts the loaf of bread. They immediately begin snarfing it down.

“Whoa whoa, take it easy chere!” he warns the oldest girl. She ignores him.

Kurt smiles at Remy. “Come on. Let us enjoy our apples.”

Remy sighs. “All right.”

While they are eating, they hear a brass fanfare. They share a glance. Someone royal has arrived and is headed for the palace. Curious, they follow the noise of the crowd until they see the man who all the ruckus is about. He is swathed in purple and sitting atop a white horse, smug and snooty as all get-out, sneering down at every commoner that dares meet his eyes. He avoids eye contact with most of them.

“Well there’s a suh-fire winnah,” Remy mutters to Kurt.

“Another suitor for the princess,” Kurt observes, almost reverent.

A small boy, barely up to Remy’s knee, suddenly darts out in front of the horse. The horse startles, eyes wide, and starts prancing sideways. The prince upon the horse is annoyed. He reins his horse in and takes out his whip, striking at the child. Remy blocks the blow with his arm. “Easy dere mon ami! ‘e is only a child!”

The prince sneers down at him. “A worthless poor boy, much like yourself. I have no time for commoners like you.”

The small boy clings to Remy’s leg. Remy lays a calming hand on the top of the boy’s head. “An’ here we have de mark of a great rulah! Complete disdain fah those ‘e wants tuh rule ovah!” he announces to the crowd.

“Do you think _you_ could do better?” the prince sneers coldly.

“Ah could,” Remy states with complete confidence.

The prince spits in Remy’s face and continues through the palace gates before Remy can get another word in edgewise. “Too bad you’ll never get the chance,” the prince taunts as the doors close behind him.

Remy can do nothing but glare at the closed gates.

* * *

“I’ve never been so insulted!” declares the pompous prince the next morning, stomping out of the gardens and past the Sultan.

Charles looks up from the book he’s been reading on the flight habits of migratory birds and sticks a bookmark on the page he’s just stopped reading, about the African swallow. “Oh dear,” he says.

“Good luck marrying _her_ off!” the prince huffs, stomping away. There is a large patch of material missing from the back of his pants.

Charles sighs and heads out into the garden where he knows his daughter must be. “Jenny?” he calls. “Jenny!”

Princess Jennifer is sitting on the edge of the fountain, talking to her pet tiger. Her hair is blonde and cut short like a boy’s, and she insists on wearing pants. Charles had been concerned when her older sister, Susan, had bloomed that Jenny would be jealous of her sister’s fuller figure. But Jenny seems completely content with her wiry frame and flat chest. She is even proud of the muscles in her arms and legs, and checks periodically with the servants about whether her abs are visible yet. Charles tries to understand her, but he has so many other things going on. It’s difficult.

“Jenny,” he begins. Then he notices the piece of material in the tiger’s mouth. “Jenny! Did you have your tiger—? Oh Jenny. Why? What was wrong with this one?”

“It’s _Johnny_ ,” she insists. “And _everything_ was wrong with him! Allah, that guy was such an asshole, I thought when he talked, shit was gonna come out of his mouth. And I was right! –though not literally.”

“Jenny,” Charles says, distracted, shaking his head. “Did you even give him a chance?”

“I don’t _need_ to give that guy a chance. Or any guy you’ve sent me! I could tell right away they were assholes. Why would I wanna talk to somebody I already know I hate?!”

Charles lays a hand on Jenny’s shoulder. “Jennifer, I know it’s hard, but you need to choose a husband by your nineteenth birthday. You have three more days. Please. The next prince I send you… at least talk to him, all right?”

“No promises,” Jenny mutters.

“Jenny,” the Sultan warns.

Jenny sighs heavily. “Fine. I’ll _talk_ to him.”

Charles seems pleased with this. He gives the tiger a hesitant pat and heads back into the palace.

Johnny turns to his pet tiger. “He doesn’t understand,” he laments.

“I know,” his tiger replies, ever-sympathetic.

“I don’t even want to _be_ a princess! How’d I get stuck with this?!”

“It is your birth right,” his tiger replies calmly.

“Yeah well my birth right sucks!” Johnny stands and starts pacing around. “I don’t wanna get married! I don’t wanna deal with all this bullshit and governing! Dad isn’t even that old, why do I gotta get married already?!”

“He just wants to make sure you’re taken care of.”

Johnny makes a frustrated sound. “Why can’t he take _care of_ me by letting me _live_ how I _want_ to?!”

His tiger sighs, eyes mournful. “It’s not that simple, Johnny.”

“Yeah well it should be! If I was Sultan, no _way_ would I make my kid go through this bullshit!”

“Perhaps you should voice these concerns to your father…”

Johnny throws his hands up in frustration. “He never listens! He never understands! He never lets me do anything! I hate it here! I hate bein’ told what I can and can’t do all the time! This sucks!”

His tiger bumps his nose against Johnny’s hand.

Johnny pets him. “Not that you’re not great, Hank, ‘cause you are, but… I just wanna know what it’s like out there, you know?”

“I know.”

* * *

Charles is pacing around his throne room trying to summon concentration to continue reading his book on migratory birds when the door opens and a regal-looking woman draped in dark robes steps in. “Charles,” she says.

“Raven!” Charles greets, relieved. “My most-trusted advisor! I am in need of your help.”

“On..?” She raises an eyebrow.

Charles steps closer and lowers his voice. “Jenny needs to get married, and soon. But she has rejected every suitor I’ve found! I am running out of countries to pull suitors from! Have you any suggestions?”

Raven’s expression is impassive. “I shall have to consult a map, milord. Her sister married a man in Serbia, yes?”

Charles nods. “Yes, and is queen there now, and doing a _wonderful_ job.” He lowers his voice even further. “Can you keep a secret?”

“You know that I can,” she assures him.

Charles looks around the room, as though someone would hear him. “It is my wish that once I am gone, Jennifer and her husband take over as rulers of my kingdom.”

Raven’s face remains impassive. “So you wish to find her a husband so that you know who will succeed you on the throne?”

Charles nods emphatically.

“I’ll need to borrow your ring.”

“My ring?” Charles replies, surprised. He frowns at the large aquamarine stone sitting on his finger, fastened to a gold band.

“Yes,” Raven replies. “It is necessary to borrow your ring in order to help find the princess a suitor.”

Charles seems uncertain. Raven holds her snakeshead staff, carved out of gold, up to Charles’s eyes. The eyes of the staff glow red. _“I will need your ring,”_ Raven repeats.

Charles, eyes wide and blank, takes the ring off of his finger and hands it to Raven.

“Thank you,” she says, pocketing it.

Charles blinks, still dazed. “You’re welcome.”

Raven smiles darkly to herself, pockets the ring, and exits the room.

“Didja get it?” asks the ugly toadlike man, hopping around just outside the doors.

“Shhhh,” Raven hushes him. She flashes the ring from her pocket.

The ugly toadlike man jumps with glee.

* * *

That night, Johnny can’t take it anymore. He’s been restless all day, unable to concentrate on anything or enjoy anything. He even talked Hank into setting little things on fire around the garden- a butterfly, some twigs, the head of a large flower. But Johnny wanted to set bigger things on fire and Hank would not allow it.

Johnny had had enough.

He is wearing a shabby outfit, filched from a servant boy. The clothes are ill-fitting and not-at-all flattering. He is sneaking as quietly as he can through the garden, but Hank, who is slumbering under a large tree, hears him anyway. Johnny was never very good at being quiet.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

Johnny nearly trips. “Allah, Hank! Don’t scare me like that!” he hisses.

Hank bows his head humbly. “I apologize, your highness, but what are you doing out so late? And where did you get those clothes?”

“I’m goin’ for a little walk,” Johnny hedges.

Hank stares at Johnny, then at the castle wall, which Johnny was headed straight towards. “Outside?” Hank asks.

“I—well—yeah.”

Hank contemplates this for a long moment. “A good ruler understands those he is ruling over,” he observes quietly.

Johnny takes this as Hank softening. “Thanks. You’re a pal.”

Hank helps Johnny climb over the wall. “Be careful,” he warns.

“Don’t worry, I got it!” Johnny whispers. He disappears over the other side of the wall.

* * *

The next morning, Johnny wakes up, a little sore from sleeping in an alleyway but otherwise happy. He’s never been outside the palace walls before, and he is very excited. There are so many people! He wants to meet all of them! He wanders, wide-eyed, past stand after stand of goods. Fruits, vegetables, meats, jewelry—each person behind the counter of each booth advertises what they are selling and asks Johnny if he would like some. Johnny turns most of them down until he sees his favorite fruit. 

Unseen by Johnny—and indeed, unseen by almost everybody—sits Remy Lebeau, sharing a stolen melon for breakfast with Kurt. He surveys the crowd from his vantage point, deciding what goods he is going to steal today, when his eyes land on a young man in shabby clothes, his blond hair shining gold in the sunlight. The young man must be younger than twenty, because his face is smooth and free of facial hair. But that makes him no less handsome. His eyelashes are thick, his eyes a beautiful shade of blue. Many of the people there are looking at this foreign beauty, so out-of-place here. And so adorably clueless. Remy finds himself smiling when the young man’s eyes light up and his beautiful mouth forms a smile as he reaches out to pick up a piece of fruit.

Johnny is about to eat it when a large, angry man towers over him. “You’d better be able to pay for that,” the large man warns.

“Pay?” Johnny replies, confused.

“No one steals from my cart!” the man warns more aggressively.

Johnny stutters, uncertain what to say. He’s never had to pay for anything in his life. He has no idea how money works; he grew up in the palace where he could take whatever he wants, whenever he wants it.

“Thief!” the man shouts when Johnny tries to back away, still holding the piece of fruit. The man strides angrily around the other side of his booth and raises a knife. “Do you know the penalty for stealing?!”

Johnny’s eyes widen and his face goes pale.

This is exactly the moment when Remy appears between Johnny and the large angry man. “Oh thank ya sir, Ah’m so glad ya found ‘im.” He waggles a finger at Johnny. “Ah ‘ave been lookin’ all ova for you.”

Johnny is confused and flustered. He has no idea who this extremely handsome man is or why he’s saving him but he’s never been so glad to see someone in his entire life.

“You know this guy?” the large angry man demands.

Remy slings an arm around Johnny’s shoulders. “Sadly yes, ‘e is mah brotha. Ya can see de family resemblance, no?” He presses his cheek against Johnny’s.

Johnny’s heart is pounding. Whoever this charismatic man is, he smells absolutely fantastic.

The large man looks between the two of them, confused and angry. Remy makes a show of putting the fruit back on the stand. “So sorry fo’ the disturbance, mon ami. ‘E would have paid, an’ Ah will make sure he does next time. Come on, Kurt. Let’s go.”

Johnny has no idea where Remy pulled this name from. He does not see the cloaked figure behind the large man filling his pockets with fruit.

Kurt, however, recognizes Remy’s signal and follows him in a roundabout way, so as not to draw attention to himself. He has become a master of the shadows.

* * *

Raven stares into the large cloud conjured by her sorcery. The ugly froglike man is turning a crank against the high stone wall as fast as he can, asking every so often if she is done yet. “Not yet!” she replies impatiently.

She places the Sultan’s ring into a holder. The cloud shifts.

“Sands of time,” she commands, “Show me the one who can enter the cave of wonders!”

Lightning strikes the ring.

An image focuses in the cloud.

The image sharpens to show a shabbily dressed young man with reddish-brown hair, who seems to be in the process of helping another shabbily dressed young man up a ladder. The latter is blond, his head turned away. But Raven only needs to see the face of the brown-haired one.

“So it’s you,” she states, cold yet observant. “The diamond in the rough.”

The shabby youth has a diamond-shaped patch on his pants. Raven is not amused by this.

“Capture him,” she orders.

* * *

Remy Lebeau helps Johnny climb onto the top of a building. Their hands remain clasped for a heartbeat too long, their eyes locked for longer.

Kurt scrambles over the top of the building by himself.

Remy helps Johnny down from the ledge surrounding the rooftop.

Unsteady on his feet, Johnny stumbled and finds his face pressed against Remy’s chest. He blushes bright pink, the same colour as the sky behind them.

Remy helps steady Johnny, hands warm, eyes soft. “Ahre ya all righ’?”

“Y-yeah..” Johnny says breathlessly, hands on Remy’s shoulders.

They stare into each other’s eyes for another long moment, each admiring the other’s beauty in the soft, warm light of the sunset.

Kurt clears his throat behind them.

“So, uh—firs’ time in de marketplace?” Remy asks Johnny before pole-vaulting to the next building, a few yards away.

“That obvious huh?” Johnny replies, scratching the back of his neck self-consciously.

“Hold on,” Kurt instructs. He hugs Johnny and teleports them right next to Remy. Kurt immediately lets go.

“Well. Ya do kinda stand ou’,” Remy admits, eyes softening as they take in Johnny’s face again.

Johnny blushes again. “I, uh. Take after my mother.”

“Where’s she from?”

“Germany.”

“Same place as my parents,” observes Kurt, glad to include himself in the conversation.

Both glance at Kurt in surprise, as though they had forgotten he was there.

“Yeah,” Remy agrees before looking back at Johnny. He smiles and takes Johnny’s hand again. “Come on. Dis way.”

He leads Johnny into the attic of an abandoned building, rife with fallen beams and torn curtains. It’s dusty and dark, and it’s a bit of a climb to get to where Remy’s leading, but once they get there, both Kurt and Remy sigh at the view: the large window looks directly out on the palace.

“Is this where you live?” Johnny asks, surprised that anyone could live in such a dark, musty place.

Remy misinterprets that statement. “No, but Ah would if Ah could.” He is staring wistfully at the palace. “It is beautiful, no? Can ya imagine wha’ it would be like? Havin’ servants, nevah havin’ tuh worry abou’ where ya next meal’s comin’ from…”

Johnny rolls his eyes. “Yeah. And have people tell you where to go and how to dress.”

Remy glances at him. “Ya soun’ like ya ahre speakin’ from experience.”

Johnny shrugs a shoulder. “I’ve heard people talkin’ about what it’s like there. Doesn’t sound that great.”

Kurt hands a piece of fruit to each of them and retreats to his corner, feeling increasingly left-out.

“Where ahre ya from?” Remy asks Johnny.

Johnny snorts. “Doesn’t matter. I am _not_ going back.”

Remy sits closer. “Why no’?”

Johnny plays with his fruit, turning it over and over between his hands. “My father is forcing me to get married.”

Remy’s handsome eyebrows draw together over his handsome nose. “Tha’ ‘s awful.”

Johnny turns to meet Remy’s eyes. They glow red in the sunset. His breath catches.

Remy’s eyes scan Johnny’s face, gaze sliding down and landing on his lips. “Ah wish dere was somethin’ Ah could do tuh help…” He starts leaning closer.

Johnny’s heart is pounding as he, too, leans closer.

“THERE you are!” shouts the angry, annoyingly familiar voice of the head guard.

“They’re after me!” Remy says at the same time that Johnny. Their eyes meet. “They’re after _you?”_ they also say simultaneously, confused and startled.

The guards are wasting no time in storming into Remy’s home.

Remy climbs up onto the window ledge. “Do ya trust meh?” he asks Johnny, intense.

“What?!” Johnny replies.

“Do ya trust meh!” Remy repeats.

“Yes…?”

Remy hugs Johnny tight. Kurt hugs both of them. The trio jumps off the building; Kurt teleports halfway down.

They reappear safely on the ground and start running, but no sooner have they started running than they come face-to-face with another faction of guards.

What follows is a brief scuffle in which Kurt keeps teleporting, the guards are laughing, Remy and Johnny find themselves surrounded, and Remy is captured. “Jus’ go!” he shouts to Johnny, kicking at the guard.

Johnny is overwhelmed. “LET HIM GO!” Johnny yells. The guards keep laughing. Johnny opens his cloak to reveal the outfit he is still wearing underneath. “By order of the princess!” he says bitterly.

“Oh!” exclaims the head guard. “Your highness.”

The guards all turn and bow to Johnny.

“Princess?” Remy exclaims, taken aback. He notices the way Johnny flinches and looks depressed every time that word is used.

“What are you doing outside the palace?” questions the head guard, “And with this—riff raff!”

Johnny crosses his arms over his flat chest, drawing himself up taller. “Well I _was_ _enjoying_ myself until _you_ showed up.”

The guard apologizes. “I’m under direct orders from Raven to capture him. You’ll have to take it up with her..”

“Oh I fuckin’ will!”

* * *

“Raven?!” Johnny calls once he’s inside the palace. Fortunately, Raven isn’t far.

“Princess!” Raven exclaims with fake relief. “You’re back. We were so worried—”

“Cut the crap, I know you don’t give a shit about me.”

Raven sports a shit-eating grin. “Always so frank, princess. How may I be of service to you?”

“The guards just took a boy from the market, on your orders!”

“The boy is a criminal,” Raven replies coolly.

“What was his crime?” Johnny demands.

“He is a common thief, and he has resisted arrest many times. On top of that, he kidnapped the princess. We needed to put a stop to his crimes once and for all.”

“Once and for all?!” Johnny repeats, not at all liking the sound of that.

“Yes. He will be beheaded in the morning.”

Johnny’s eyes widen. He grasps his own throat. “What!?” he whispers. “No!”

“I’m sorry you had to be caught up in all of this.” Raven, in truth, is not sorry at all.

“Isn’t there any way you can stop it?! He saved my life!”

Raven considers this. “We’ll make it quick.”

* * *

Remy struggles inside his cell, wrists chained to the wall. “The _princess_ ,” he’s saying, flabbergasted. “Ah can’t believe it. All that tahme he was de _princess._ ”

An odd bird call sounds just outside his cell window.

“Wagnuh?” Remy calls.

Kurt salutes him and appears inside his cell. He hugs Remy, freeing him of his shackles.

“Kurt, ya beautiful bastahd!” Remy grins and slaps him on the shoulder. “How did ya find meh?”

Before Kurt has a chance to reply, an old man comes wobbling toward them out of the shadows. Wary, Kurt and Remy stand closer together, ready to teleport if need be.

The old man makes an offer that Remy cannot refuse. At first the offer sounds dubious; the old man promises riches beyond the imagination, if only he is willing to do the legwork for him.

“Wha’s the catch?”

“No catch—I am too old and frail to make the journey.”

Next thing he knows, the old man has opened a secret passageway out of the prison cell and is leading him across the desert on horseback. They have to travel slowly because the old man’s back is bad.

Remy does not see the ugly froglike man race ahead with the golden beetle.

He does, however, see the giant sand tiger’s head. _“Who disturbs my slumber?”_ the tiger’s head rumbles.

Remy casts a questioning glance at the old man. The old man urges him on.

“Remy Lebeau,” he answers.

The tiger examines him with its huge glowing eyes. “Proceed.” The tiger’s mouth opens, revealing a huge glowing passageway. It looks like the inside of the sandy beast’s throat, except for the sandy stairs leading down into it.

“Remember,” the old man calls after him. “Take anything you want, all I want is the lamp!”

“Yeah… sure homme.” Remy wonders why the old man is so interested in a lamp.

He starts down the stairs; Kurt follows. Kurt is afraid at first that the tiger will reject him, but the tiger says nothing. Upon his first tentative step inside the cave, nothing happens. So he continues following Remy down the long winding staircase and through the doorway at the end. The doorway opens into a huge cavern piled with mountains of gold and jewels.

Remy lets out a low whistle.

Kurt bumps into his back, unaware that Remy has stopped walking. He, too, lets out a low whistle.

They stand there for a long moment, taking it in.

“Lamp first,” Remy suggests. Kurt agrees.

They set off in search of the lamp. Remy picks out pieces with his eyes as he goes, searching out the smallest, most valuable pieces.

After several paces, Kurt starts to feel uneasy, as though they are being followed, but every time he turns around, there is no one there.

Remy frowns at Kurt after he has turned around for the dozenth time. “Wha’ ahre ya lookin’ at, homme?”

“I feel like something is following us.”

Remy turns around.

And then they see it—hovering just behind a stack of gold, a magic carpet.

“Well woul’ ya look a’ tha’,” Remy observes reverently.

“A magic carpet!” Kurt whispers. “I thought that was just a legend!”

The magic carpet drifts closer, as though uncertain.

Remy smirks. “Come on ou’, Ah ain’ gonna hurt ya.”

The carpet drifts closer tentatively. Once it’s close enough, Remy reaches out to touch it. He smiles.

“Is it sentient?” Kurt wonders aloud.

“Ahre ya?” Remy reiterates, speaking to the carpet.

The carpet shivers in response.

Remy and Kurt share a glance.

“Can ya take us tuh the lamp?”

The carpet shivers again and takes off.

Remy and Kurt follow it.

The carpet leads them to a separate chamber, devoid of gold, containing nothing but a long, narrow staircase leading up to a small plateau. Remy and Kurt share another glance before starting up the staircase. To their surprise, the carpet stops Kurt from following.

“Guess it’s jus’ me, mon ami.”

“Be careful,” Kurt warns. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Ah’ll be careful,” Remy promises. He cautiously heads up the staircase. It seems to take forever. His mind drifts to that boy he met in the marketplace. The princess. He thinks how much the princess must hate being a princess, remembers the princess said something about being forced to marry—how awful that must be. How little time he had left, if he was gonna be the one who—but what is he thinking. The law says the princess must marry a prince.

He picks up the lamp, pockets it, and heads back down the long staircase, wondering what sort of lie he could tell to convince the sultan that he was a prince. If he could just get enough gold to buy the right clothes…

They exit the room, and no sooner has Remy picked up the first piece of gold than the cave roars and starts collapsing. The floor heats and turns into lava. Remy and Kurt are forced to hop onto the carpet, which heads for the exit.

The old man is waiting outside. “Hand me the lamp!”

Remy is hesitant to hand over the lamp.

“Remy!” Kurt demands, poking his shoulder.

“Not now, Kurt.”

“Remy!” Kurt insists.

Kurt teleports them deeper into the cave just as the entrance collapses in a huge rockslide.

“How ahre we supposed tuh get out now?!”

“I don’t know, I panicked!”

Remy sighs. “Tha’s all righ’. Maybeh dere’s anothah entrance somewhere.”

But upon searching, there turns out to be no other entrance or exit.

“Well. Dis is de only treasure we were able tuh get.” He pulls the lamp out of his pocket. “How much do ya reckon it’s worth?”

Kurt winces. “It looks old.”

“Maybeh if Ah jus’ shine it a little..” Remy rubs the lamp against his shirt. To his surprise, the lamp begins to glow. Soon, the lamp starts jumping in his hands, glowing brighter, until suddenly what seems like a puff of smoke escapes.

The smoke quickly shapes itself into a man whose lower half is a smoky tail, sort of like a mermaid. His upper half is that of a handsome man, with a cleft chin, styled brown hair, and long-suffering gray-blue eyes. He is wearing a shirt which is both ancient and exotic, and he has a large golden cuff on each wrist. “Bucky Barnes, genie extraordinaire, how may I help you,” he greets in a bitter and sarcastic voice.

“Genie!” Kurt repeats, fascinated and reverent.

“Yep, that’s what I said,” Bucky confirms, arms crossed.

“Jus’ lahke from de legends,” Remy whispers. “Genies ahre _real?”_

“Unfortunately,” Bucky confirms. “And _you_ are my new master. So tell me what you want, an’ I’ll give it to you.” Bucky isn’t sure what he hates more, being in the lamp or out of it.

Remy glances at Kurt. “Dere’s gotta be some catch.”

Bucky narrows his lips. “Yeah. You only get three wishes.”

“And Ah can wish for _anything.”_

_“Almost_ anything.” Bucky ticks off on his fingers. “I can’t kill anyone, I can’t bring anyone back from the dead, and I can’t make anyone fall in love.”

“Well considerin’ those ahre de only three things mos’ people ahre interested in, ya mus’ not get much business.”

Bucky glowers at him. “I’ll have you know I am extremely powerful.”

“Yeah? I don’ know…” He turns to Kurt. Kurt recognizes the glint in Remy’s eye. To Kurt, he says, “can’t even make people fall in love,” as though that’s pathetic.

Kurt shakes his head as though he is in complete agreement, almost as though he pities Bucky for having such lame powers.

Bucky huffs. “Um, excuse me? There is a shitton of other stuff I _can_ do.”

“Well none a’ dat’s gonna be very useful considerin’ we’re stuck in dis cave,” Remy remarks. To Kurt, he says, “Guess we betta find a way out. Dis useless genie ain’ gonna help us.”

Kurt nods, eyes pitying.

Bucky huffs again. “Excuse me?! I can get you out of this cave no problem!”

Remy and Kurt share a doubting, pitying glance.

Bucky shoves them bodily onto the magic carpet. “All right that’s it! I have had it with you insulting my powers! You want out of this cave? Fine! We are getting the _fuck_ out of this cave!”

* * *

Charles notices that Jenny is particularly quiet today. He places a hand on her shoulder. “Is something bothering you, my dear?”

Jenny glares sullenly at him. “Raven sentenced a prisoner to death this morning.”

Charles frowns. “Yes, and?”

“And he didn’t kidnap me, papa! I ran away! But Raven wouldn’t listen to me! She said he’s nothing more than a common criminal! But if it weren’t for him, I’d be dead!”

Charles stares off into the distance for a moment. “Why did you run away, my dear?”

“Because I hate it here!”

“Jenny…”

“No! Don’t touch me! I don’t want to be here! I don’t want to be a princess! I never did! I hate it here!” She runs off sobbing.

Charles sighs heavily. He wishes he understood his younger daughter better.

“Penny for your thoughts?” a cool voice demands from the doorway.

“Raven!” Charles greets, relieved. “Have you found a prince for her to marry yet?”

“I think I may have found someone,” she says, expression shuttered.

“Oh good! Have you arranged a meeting yet?”

“I shall get to that presently.” Raven sweeps out of the room, expression stoic, eyes sullen.

* * *

Bucky’s arms are crossed and he is staring at Remy smugly. “Well?” They have landed in a rather tropical-looking section of wilderness not far outside of Agrabah, and are surrounded by lush plant life and tons of fruit.

“Ya got us out of the cave,” Remy admits, pretending to be a bit humbled.

Bucky puffs out his chest a little more.

“So… abou’ those three wishes,” Remy begins.

“Three? Uh, no. I think you mean two.”

“No, Ah mean three.”

“You’re down by one!” Bucky gestures around them.

Remy waggles a finger. “Ah nevah wished tuh land here. Ah nevah wished fo’ anything.”

Bucky gapes at him, annoyed. “Well fuck you very much!”

Kurt snickers.

Bucky glares at Kurt.

Kurt stops snickering.

“All right, fine,” Bucky relents. “You still have three wishes. But you have to use the words “I wish” before wishing for anything or I ain’t doin’ nuthin’!”

Remy shrugs. “Fair deal.” He taps his chin. “Now den… Wha’ to wish for…”

“We could be ze richest people in ze world!” Kurt exclaims.

Remy nods. “True, true… Or famous…” He glances at the genie. “You’ve been around for a while, no?”

Bucky blinks. “Uh. Yeah.”

“’ow long _‘ave_ you been around, mon ami?”

Bucky looks haunted for a moment. “I don’t know.”

Kurt is all sympathy. “It must be lonely, living in zat lamp…”

Bucky shrugs. “Well yeah. It sucks to be asleep for years in a small dark space and only get pulled out of it when somebody wants to use you for something. Yeah.”

“Zat sounds awful…”

“It is. No one wants to be a fuckin’ genie. Ya got all this power and you can’t use any of it on yourself.”

This piques Remy’s interest. “Wha’ would ya wish for if ya could?”

Bucky stares at him for a long moment, eyes haunted again. Finally, he answers, “Freedom.”

“You’re a prisoner?”

Bucky knocks on the lamp. “Do you think I’d live in this stupid thing for the majority of my life because I _wanted_ to? No. I hate being a genie. Every other time I wake up I’ve got some asshole telling me he’s my master now and I’ve got no choice: I’ve gotta do whatever they want. Do you have _any_ idea how much that sucks?”

Remy’s eyes look haunted now. “Ah know a thing or two abou’ feelin’ trapped.”

“Yeah. Well. It sucks.” Bucky kicks the lamp with his tail. It tumbles across the sand and stops a few feet away.

“Is dere any way for ya tuh become free?”

Bucky’s mouth narrows. “Yeah. One of my masters has to _wish_ me free.”

Remy exchanges a glance with Kurt. “Ah could do tha’.”

Bucky shoots him an incredulous look.

“Ah could!” Remy insists. “Dere’s only one thing Ah really wan’.”

Bucky narrows his eyes. “Yeah? And what’s that?”

Remy’s expression turns sad and dreamy. “There’s… dis boy,” he starts.

Bucky holds up a hand. “I can’t make anyone fall in love, remember?”

“Ah don’ need ‘im to fall in love wi’ me, mon ami.” Remy stares off into the distance, recalling how they’d almost kissed.

Bucky is intrigued. “Oh? Then what _do_ you want?”

“The thing is… ‘e’s a _princess._ An’ ‘e can only marry a prince.” Remy’s heart starts pounding. “Bucky… can ya make meh a _prince?”_

Bucky’s eyes warm a bit, but he raises an eyebrow. “Is that a wish?”

Remy rolls his eyes. “Ah wish for ya tuh make meh a prince.”

Bucky’s hands spark with power. He smirks. “You got it.”

* * *

One hour later, Remy Lebeau is draped in royal garb, sitting atop a large white elephant in the middle of a large parade. Bucky has given himself legs and is marching at the front of the parade, announcing over the trumpet fanfare to make way for Prince Gambit.

The crowd is wowed by the parade of camels, elephants, lions, minstrels, swordsmen, beautiful scantily clad women, fire twirlers, and carts full of riches.

The fanfare from the parade rouses both Charles and Raven in the throne room. Even Johnny can’t ignore the obnoxiously loud parade. All three rush to windows to watch the parade.

Once they arrive at the palace, Raven is less-than-pleased, but masks her expression because Charles is clearly _very_ impressed. He applauds the parade and has high hopes that this is the prince Raven has summoned.

“Your majesty,” Prince Gambit greets with a sweeping bow. “Ah ‘ave travelled fah in hopes of claimin’ yah daughtah’s hand in marriage.”

“Prince Gambit!” Charles exclaims, warmly shaking his hand, eyes shining. “Oh you are a handsome one! She’ll be delighted to meet you, I’m sure!”

“Yes, I’m sure,” comments Raven coldly.

“Oh! How foolish of me! Prince Gambit, this is my royal advisor, Raven!”

Prince Gambit shoots Raven a charming grin and bows. Between his turban and his new clothes, he is nearly unrecognizable.

But Raven can’t shake the feeling that she’s seen him before. “Where did you say you’re from?”

“N’Orleans,” Prince Gambit replies smoothly. “Bo’n ‘n’ raised on de bayou.”

Raven narrows her eyes. “That’s a rather distinctive accent you have there.”

Prince Gambit shrugs. “All Cajuns ‘ave it.”

Charles is touching the magic carpet with fascination. “Pardon me,” he interrupts, “but may I?”

Prince Gambit smiles at Charles. “Of course, your majesty!”

Charles climbs tentatively on the carpet. The carpet, as though to show off, immediately takes off and zooms around the throne room. Charles screams with delight and terror. The carpet slows down until Charles’s grip eases and continues flying in random patterns around the room.

Raven glares at Prince Gambit while Charles flies around the throne room. “Have I seen you somewhere before?”

Prince Gambit shrugs. “Ah am a prince, chere. It’s possible.”

Charles comes in for a landing nearby, grinning from ear to ear. “Oh, I liked that very much! I must get one of my own! That was spectacular!”

Prince Gambit flashes the Sultan a charming grin. “Ah’m glad ya liked it, your majesty.”

“I only hope my daughter likes _you!_ She is _so_ impossible, she has turned down every suitor I’ve sent her!”

Johnny, of course, chose that moment to appear in the doorway.

“Princess Jenny!” Charles exclaims.

Prince Gambit’s eyes light up. He looks to where Johnny is standing.

Johnny has his hands on his hips. His eyes are stormy. “Impossible, huh? I’ll show _you_ impossible!” He flips them off with both hands, turns on his heel, and stomps away.

Prince Gambit watches him leave, an odd tugging in his chest. He wishes he could go after him.

Charles sighs. “Just give her some time to cool down. Really, she’s so hot-headed. I don’t know where she gets it from. Takes after her mother, but. Her mother was so much more even-tempered!” He leads Prince Gambit on a tour of the palace.

* * *

Night has fallen, and every attempt to get the princess to speak to Prince Gambit has failed.

“Wha’ am Ah gonna do?!” Remy laments to Bucky. “Johnny won’ even let meh _talk_ to ‘im!”

Bucky shrugs. “You’ve got a teleporting sidekick and a magic carpet. You’ll figure something out.”

Remy stares at Bucky like he’s just said the Mona Lisa was painted entirely by lobsters. And then realized he actually meant alien lobster men, which meant aliens are real, which means—“Of course!” Remy jumps on the magic carpet and flies up to Johnny’s balcony.

No sooner has he climbed down onto the balcony than he is confronted by a large, angry tiger. The tiger growls at him.

“Whoa dere! Easy!” Remy backs onto the carpet.

Johnny would recognize that accent anywhere. But—no, it couldn’t be. “…Hello?” he calls, walking onto the balcony.

“Johnny!” Remy—er, Prince Gambit exclaims, straightening his turban. “Ya wanna call your tiger offa meh?”

“It’s J—wait. Did you just call me Johnny?”

Prince Gambit realizes he just fucked up and shrugs. “Ya don’ look like a Jenny to me. Sorry if Ah misinterpreted.”

“No, no that’s—! I… actually prefer Johnny,” he admits, blushing. 

Hank doesn’t need to be told to back down; he can sense it. He slinks back and sits protectively near Johnny.

Prince Gambit’s eyes soften. “Ya mus’ hate it here, always bein’ referred to as a princess when ya wanna be a prince.”

Johnny sighs. “I don’t really want to be a prince, either. I just wanna be… free.”

Prince Gambit holds out his hand. “Ah can’t promise ya freedom. But Ah can take ya somewhere dat makes meh feel free.”

Johnny eyes him suspiciously. “Have we… met?”

Prince Gambit’s heart skips a beat. “Ah would remembah meetin’ someone like you.”

“Your accent…”

“Cajun, mon ami. All de Cajuns ‘ave it.”

“Oh. I thought…”

“Would ya like tuh feel free, even if jus’ for tonigh’?” Prince Gambit offers, holding out his hand again.

Johnny eyes the carpet Gambit is standing on.

Prince Gambit smiles crookedly at him. “Do ya trust meh?”

Johnny’s heart skips a beat. The way Gambit’s eyes glint red in the moonlight. _It couldn’t be…_ Johnny takes Gambit’s hand.

Prince Gambit pulls him onto the magic carpet. “Hold on tigh’,” he warns softly.

Johnny isn’t sure what Gambit means by this, so he tentatively grips the edge of the carpet. As soon as the carpet starts moving, Johnny flails and ends up grabbing Gambit around the waist. Prince Gambit smiles and urges the carpet faster.

They fly over the palace walls, high over the city, through the countryside, higher and higher until they’re in the clouds. Johnny always wondered what clouds were like up close. He wants to reach out and touch them, but every time they get close, the clouds disappear into mist. Prince Gambit starts singing something. His voice is deep and smooth, like warm molasses. Johnny loves the way it vibrates along Gambit’s back and reverberates through his chest.

They fly through gardens and orchards, past national monuments. Everything is so beautiful in the moonlight. Johnny wishes he could do this every night. The air is so cool and clean, and Gambit’s back is so warm and welcoming. And his voice..!

Eventually, they have to return to the palace. There is a national holiday beginning at midnight which Johnny had forgotten about. Multicolored fireworks explode overhead.

“I love fireworks,” Johnny whispers, sitting on the roof next to Gambit. His head is on Gambit’s shoulder.

“So do Ah,” Prince Gambit whispers back. Remy entangles their hands.

“Are you sure we’ve never met?” Johnny asks, tilting his head to look up at the prince. “Your voice sounds so familiar… like a boy I met in the marketplace.”

Prince Gambit debates what to tell him. “It can’t ‘ave been meh. Ah jus’ arrived in town.”

“But you smell just like him! And your eyes—there can’t be two guys with Cajun accents with eyes that glint red in the moonlight!”

Prince Gambit blinks in surprise, eyes widening. “Ah—,” he starts. He looks around and takes off his turban, revealing his shaggy chestnut-brown hair. “All right, mon amour. It’s me,” he admits very quietly.

“Remy,” Johnny whispers, reaching out to touch his hair. His eyes glisten with tears. “I thought you were dead! What happened to you?!”

“Ah’ll tell ya, mon amour. All in good tahme. But for now, le’s jus’ enjoy de nigh’, shall we?” He gently lowers Johnny’s hand and replaces his turban, covering his hair.

“But—how are you alive?!”

“It’s a long story, mon amour.” He wraps an arm around Johnny’s shoulders and sits closer. “The poin’ of which is, Ah’m alive, an’ Ah’m a prince, an’ if ya’d like, Ah want tuh ask yah hand in marriage.”

“But—I don’t want to get married,” Johnny objects with less conviction than he had before.

“Ah know, mon amour, an’ neither do Ah. But de law says ya hafta marry someone in de next day or so. Ah’d hate tuh see ya married tuh someone dat made ya unhappeh.” His hand strokes Johnny’s shoulder soothingly.

“…Thank you,” Johnny whispers.

“Yah welcome,” Gambit replies quietly.

Johnny glances at the way Gambit’s eyes glow red in the fireworks. Gambit notices this and watches the way the fireworks light up Johnny’s eyes, the way the pinks and the greens reflect off of his beautiful blue irises.

“There is one person that makes me happy,” Johnny admits, staring into Gambit’s eyes.

The side of Gambit’s mouth tugs up in a smile. “Ah only hope it’s meh.” His gaze slides down Johnny’s face to his lips again. He leans a little closer and checks Johnny’s eyes for permission.

Johnny is staring at Gambit’s mouth longingly.

Gambit takes this as permission and closes the distance between them, meeting Johnny’s lips in a sweet kiss. Johnny leans into the kiss, one hand reaching up to wrap around Remy’s shoulder. His hand migrates slowly until it’s cupping the back of Remy’s neck. Remy lets the love he’s feeling flow into the kiss, lets Johnny taste it on his lips. When Remy finally pulls his mouth away, Johnny wraps his arms around him and rests his face against Remy’s shoulder.

* * *

Having freshly dropped off the ‘princess’ and kissed him goodnight, Gambit lands the magic carpet in the castle garden. He feels as though for once, everything is going _right._  

Suddenly he finds himself assaulted by several guards. One of them knocks him over the head. The last thing he sees is Raven standing over him.

Everything goes black.

Kurt sees this from his vantage point in the shadows under the tree. He follows at a safe distance. The guards throw Remy into a nearby body of water with weights tied around his ankles and wrists. Kurt waits until the guards are gone before teleporting into the water below, diving to find Remy, and teleporting them back to the surface of the cliff, shackles gone.

Remy wakes up and coughs out water. He blinks, frowning, as his head clears. “…Kurt?”

“Remy! You almost died!”

“Ah know, it was de castle guards. Raven was dere…” He rubs his forehead.

“Raven? Ze royal advisor?”

“Yeah. Ah didn’ hear wha’ she said but Ah had the feelin’ she sent dem afta me.”

“Why would she do zat?”

“Ah don’ know.” Remy squeezes water out of his clothes.

“Do you think she knows…?”

“Who Ah am? Maybeh.” Remy realizes with a chill that Raven had nearly recognized him when he first showed up at the palace.

“Does zat mean ze jig is up?”

“Not if Ah ‘ave anythin’ tuh say abou’ it!”

* * *

Johnny is dreamily humming and petting Hank in his room when Charles walks in, eyes blank. “Jenny?”

“Oh papa!” Johnny exclaims, hugging Hank. “I just had the most _wonderful_ time!”

“Jenny, there is something I need to tell you.”

Johnny sits up, frowning. “What? Is everything okay?”

Charles steps closer. “Prince Gambit left.”

Johnny’s stomach sinks. “Wh-what?!”

“It’s true,” Raven agrees, sweeping into the room. “My lookout saw him leave.”

“Maybeh ya oughtta ‘ave a talk wi’ your lookou’,” Prince Gambit says, stepping into the room.

“Remy!” Johnny exclaims, relieved and overjoyed.

Prince Gambit can’t help smiling at him. But his expression changes into one of anger when he looks at Raven. “Tell ‘em de truth, Raven. Ya tried tuh ‘ave me _killed.”_

“That’s ridiculous,” Raven deadpans. “Whatever happened, I had nothing to do with it.”

“Zat’s not what I saw,” Kurt declares, stepping forward.

“They’re obviously lying,” Raven says to Charles, standing behind him, holding her golden snake staff in front of his face. The eyes are glowing red.

“Obviously lying,” Charles agrees, voice flat, eyes glazed.

“What’s wrong with him?!” Johnny asks, alarmed.

“Ah’ll show ya wha’s wrong,” Prince Gambit announces. He shatters the head of the golden snake against the palace floor.

Charles blinks rapidly, eyes clearing. “Oh dear… Where am I?”

“Your highness,” Prince Gambit starts, handing him the remains of the golden staff, “Raven has been controlling ya wi’ dis.”

Charles stares at the staff, pale. “I… No it can’t be.”

“Yes it can!” Johnny shouts, pulling himself up to his full height. “Guards!” he calls. “Guards!” Several guards show up. “Arrest this traitor!” He points at Raven. “She has been using sorcery against the Sultan!”

“Ridiculous!” Raven shouts. The guards continue advancing on her, but hesitate just long enough for her to declare “This is not done yet, boy!” She disappears in a cloud of smoke.

Charles seems to have snapped out of it. “Search everywhere!” he commands the guards.

Gambit rushes to Johnny. “Johnny. Ahre ya all righ’?” He holds both of Johnny’s hands and scans his handsome face, eyes full of love and concern.

“I’m fine,” Johnny insists, not letting go of Gambit’s hands.

“I can’t believe it!” exclaims Charles. “All that time. Raven was controlling me all that time!”

“I think she poisoned my mother, too,” Johnny tells Charles.

“What?! No—no, that can’t be..” Charles doubts himself though. “Wait. Jenny? You’ve spoken with Prince Gambit?!”

Johnny glances at Gambit and nods. The pair stand a little closer.

Charles’s eyes dart between the two of them. “And—you don’t hate him?!” he asks hopefully.

Johnny smirks. “No.”

Gambit chuckles and kisses Johnny’s cheek.

Johnny turns red.

“Oh!” Charles’s eyes widen. “OH!”

“If it’s all righ’,” Prince Gambit says, pulling Johnny into a hug, “Ah woul’ like tuh reiterate mah offer a’ mah hand in marriage.”

Johnny’s face falls.

“Ah know ya don’ wan’ tuh get married,” Gambit whispers while Charles processes this information, “An’ neithah do Ah. But if Ah had tuh marry anyone, Ah’d rathuh it be you.”

“Of course! Of course you can!” Charles replies loudly. “Oh my! We’ll have to make the announcement tomorrow morning! Oh, this is so exciting! Finally, my daughter getting married!”

“Son,” Johnny says quietly.

“Maybeh someday ‘e’ll understand,” Gambit reassures him just as quietly.

* * *

Prince Gambit, none other than the common thief Remy Lebeau, made a deadly mistake. While he was out on his joyride with the princess, he left his magic lamp sitting in the hollow of a tree. An ugly froglike man noticed a dull glint in the moonlight and snatched the lamp with his tongue. He brought the treasure to his master.

Raven is very pleased when she shows up in her secret room within the palace and the ugly froglike man is there waiting for her with the lamp she has so long sought. He presents it to her with no clue as to its significance.

“Excellent work, Toad! Where did you find this?” She grabs the lamp.

He chortles. “Hidden in a tree!”

“The fool! He must have left it where he thought no one could find it.” She pats the ugly froglike man on the head. Her yellow eyes glint with power.

Toad jumps back and forth from foot to foot. “So… what is it?”

Raven glares at him coldly. “It’s a lamp, you imbecile.”

Toad cocks his head. “What’s so special about a lamp?”

“What’s so special about a lamp,” she echoes coldly, rubbing the side of the lamp. The lamp glows, bounces, and emits smoke.

Out of the lamp appears Bucky, who is wearing a long-suffering expression. “So, how’d the date go—oh. You’re not him.”

“No,” Raven agrees. “I am decidedly not.” She steps closer. “But I _am_ your master now. And for my first wish, I wish to rule. As Sultan.”

“You kinda have to be a _man_ for that.”

Raven stands nearly nose-to-nose with the genie. She transforms herself into a male version of the self she wears around the palace: a handsome man with dark hair and dark eyes. “Better?” Her eyes flash gold.

Bucky hedges. His hands are already glowing with magic. “All right.”

* * *

Charles has just finished announcing his daughter’s engagement to an exuberant crowd when the skies go dark and he finds his clothes being magically stripped away from him until he is left in nothing but his underwear. He, Johnny, and Gambit all look to where the clothes are flying: the clothes land on a male form that looks very much like Raven. She transforms her face briefly just so that they will recognize her. She always did love to rub in her victory.

“Raven!” Charles exclaims, scandalized.

“For my second wish,” Raven announces, voice echoing, “I wish to be the most powerful sorcerer in the world!”

Bucky rolls his eyes, still bearing a long-suffering expression, and grants her wish.

A brand-new golden snakeshead staff appears in Raven’s hand. She towers over the trio below. “Now. You will bow before me.” She casts a spell on Johnny and Charles, forcing them to bow.

“Ah ain’ nevah gonna bow before ya!” Gambit objects as the spell is cast.

“Who said anything about _you_ bowing?” Raven retorts, casting a different spell at Gambit. His clothes revert to the ones he’d been wearing out on the street. “Behold!” she announces. “Remy Lebeau, common criminal, and worthless street rat.”

“No!” Johnny objects from his position on the ground, still being forced to bow. “He’s more than that!”

“Shut it,” Raven commands, sealing Johnny’s mouth closed with a spell. She turns back to Remy. “I’ve had just about enough of you.” She forces Remy and Kurt onto the magic carpet, wraps it around them tightly, tears a chunk out of the castle, and sends them off to who-knows-where.

“Good riddance,” she says, not even bothering to glance at what direction she sent them in.

* * *

The chunk of castle Remy and Kurt are hurtled away in lands roughly in a mountain range somewhere. The ground is covered in a thick blanket of snow. Both Remy and Kurt are shivering.

“Can ya teleport us anywhere warm?”

“S-s-s-sorry, b-but no.” Kurt’s teeth are chattering. “Sh-she c-cast a spell on me, my p-powers don’ work.”

“Ya nevah did tell meh how ya got those.”

“B-born with zem, I th-think. Always had zem.”

Remy contemplates the carpet. “It’s gonna be a cold rahde. Ya think ya can handle it?” The carpet shivers. “Ah hope dat’s a yes.”

* * *

By the time Remy Lebeau returns to the palace, the entire thing has been redecorated. Charles is lying, unconscious, on a slab in the throne room. Johnny is chained to the wall. Raven is telling Johnny about how she poisoned his mother because she planned to take over as queen, but the more she got to know Charles, the more she realized they were more like brother and sister, and a marriage between them would never work. Once Susan was married off, she realized that the only way for her to rule the kingdom was to prevent Johnny from ever getting married, and to kill Charles.

“You would do that to your own _brother?!”_ Johnny replies with disgust.

“He’s not actually my brother,” Raven replies coolly. “And I already have. The venom from that snakebite is slowly causing his nervous system to cease functioning. Within minutes, he will lose all use of his brain.” She smiles. “His sympathetic nervous system is already dying.”

Johnny has no idea what a sympathetic nervous system is, but he has a feeling it’s important. “How could you!”

Raven rolls her eyes. “I’ve explained this to you already a dozen times. How stupid are you? I don’t actually love Charles. I don’t love _any_ of you. The only people I’ve ever loved abandoned me long ago.”

Johnny sees Remy over Raven’s shoulder. His entire body lights up. Remy immediately presses a finger to his lips, indicating Johnny not reveal his presence. Johnny understands and recovers quickly. “So you had someone you loved?” he presses, returning his attention to Raven.

Raven is suspicious. “Yes, I had a husband, and two children. What are you looking at?” She turns, eyes piercing the spot where Remy just was.

“Nothing. What happened to your family?”

Raven continues, distracted, senses on alert. Jenny seems suddenly… perkier. “My husband died. My daughter ran away when she discovered she was a sorceress. She hated her powers. I tried to make her see the light, but she ran away again and I haven’t seen her since. My son, I have no idea what happened to him.”

“What were their names?” Johnny presses.

“Anna Marie, and Kurt. Why are you so interested in my family?”

Johnny shrugs. “’s just weird that you had any _feelings_ , is all.”

“I assure you, I am capable of—hah!” She turns suddenly and sees Remy and Kurt.

“Sorry,” Kurt whispers to Remy; Kurt had knocked over a vase with his tail and froze in place.

“’s all right, mon ami,” Remy whispers back. His fingers are inches from the lamp.

“Nice try,” Raven says, aiming her staff at Remy and knocking him away from the lamp.

A scuffle ensues, in which both Remy and Kurt keep going after the lamp, and Raven repeatedly stops them both. “Really, Kurt, I am ashamed at your life choices,” she says between blasts of her staff. “I thought I raised you better.”

“You’re not my mother,” Kurt objects.

“I assure you, I am.” She blasts them away from the lamp again. “You know, it’s never too late to apologize and come back home.”

“Never.”

“Have it your way.” She forms a ring of fire around the lamp.

Remy has had it up to here with being blasted with that damned magic staff. “Afraid tuh come fight me yahself, ya coward?!”

“Coward!” Raven repeats, amused. “Well I can’t have you thinking that, now can I.” She steps closer to the ring of fire and transforms herself into a giant snake. She coils herself around Remy, tightening her grip until she’s just short of breaking all his bones. “Without the genie, you’re nothing.”

Remy does some quick calculations. Raven’s first wish was to be Sultan. Her second wish was to be the most powerful sorcerer on earth. If he’s right- and Remy is a gamblin’ man- “The genie? De genie has more powah den you’ll _evah_ ‘ave.”

“What?!”

“He gave ya your powah, an’ he can take it away.”

“Genie!” Raven shouts.

Bucky appears begrudgingly from the lamp. “What do you want _now._ ”

“I make my third and final wish! To be an all-powerful genie!” She constricts herself tighter around Remy. He groans with pain.

“Whatever you want.” Bucky shoots a beam of magic at Raven. Instantly, her snake body transforms into that of a large dark blue genie. She breaks through the roof of the palace, laughter rumbling like thunder.

“Wait for it,” Bucky says, wearing a long-suffering look.

Raven is experimenting with her powers, moving around stars and planets, grinning from ear to ear, when suddenly a large golden cuff appears on each wrist.

“Aaaaaand,” Bucky says, pointing a finger at Raven as her expression changes from one to glee to one of terror. A dark lamp has appeared on the floor. She is suddenly sucked into the lamp, screaming all the way.

“Never,” Bucky says in the suddenly silent room, “rub that lamp.”

“Can Ah rub yours?” Remy asks with a flirtatious raise of an eyebrow.

“Well,” Bucky relents, unamused, “you do have two more wishes.”

“Ah wish the Sultan was no longah poisoned.”

Bucky shoots a beam of magic at Charles. Charles heals instantly. “Wh… where am I?”

“Remy!” Johnny exclaims. Remy isn’t sure when Kurt freed him, but he doesn’t care because suddenly Johnny is in his arms and it’s all he’s ever wanted. They hold each other for a long moment, breathing each other in, relieved and happy and needing each other.

 “Ah’m sorry Ah lied tuh ya,” Remy says, hugging Johnny tightly. “Ah nevah meant tuh staht this mess.”

“Are you kidding me?! This place was already a mess! You just cleaned it up!”

“Yeah but… Ah still can’t be with ya.”

Johnny pulls back and looks at him. “What? Why not!”

“Ah’m not a prince, Johnny. Raven was right: Ah’m jus’ a common criminal.”

“No you’re not! You’re so much more than that! Fuck, why the fuck do we even _have_ that stupid law!”

“Ah don’ know, Johnny. Tuh be honest, Ah don’ know a thing about rulin’ or royalty. All Ah know is Ah love ya.”

“I love you too,” Johnny replies, eyes full of tears.

Bucky shifts uncomfortably. “You know… you can always just wish for me to make you a prince again.”

Remy looks into Johnny’s eyes. Then away. “Even if Ah did tha’, Ah wouldn’t _really_ be a prince.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Charles exclaims nearby. “I’m the Sultan, and you are the first person my daughter has liked since her mother died. I make the rules for this bloody kingdom, and I say if she wants to marry you, you’re getting married!”

Remy and Johnny share a surprised glance.

“You mean Ah—Ah can really..?”

Charles waves his hand. “Yes, yes, you can marry my daughter! I already announced the engagement! Just kiss already!”

Remy laughs.

Johnny turns red.

Remy pulls Johnny into a warm hug and promises, “Later.”

* * *

Bucky sighs on the windowsill of Remy’s new bedroom in the palace. His handsome cleft chin is propped up in his hand, which is resting on the bend of his smoky tail. He is staring out into the night sky. “Guess ya don’t need me anymore,” he observes when he hears Remy re-enter the room.

“What’s got you so glum, homme?”

“Oh nothing. Just lifetimes’ worth of watching other people get everything they want and never getting the one thing I’ve always wanted.”

“An’ what’s tha’?”

Bucky shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. I should probably stop hoping I’ll get it.”

“No. Tell meh.” Remy sits on the windowsill across from Bucky. He rests his back against the side of the large stone cutout.

Bucky eyes him mournfully. “You really wanna know?”

“Ah really do.”

Bucky looks out the window as he tells his story. “Once upon a time there was a prince. And, well, he fell in love with another prince from a neighboring kingdom. They grew up together, spent a lot of time visiting each other, had to learn a lot of the same bullshit. They became best friends. The one prince had blond hair, soft as silk, and eyes the most beautiful shade of cornflower blue. He kept gettin’ sick all the time, so his parents were mighty worried about him bein’ an only child, and their only heir.

“They wanted to marry him off to a princess, but none of the princesses wanted to marry _him._ The other prince was infuriated by this for two reasons. One, he was jealous. And two, why couldn’t those princesses see what he saw? That prince is so brave, and strong, and smart. He’s the nicest guy I know. But he don’t take no bullshit. He’s just all-around amazing.

“Anyway. It came out that I was in love with him, and he was in love with me. Turns out he has an aunt who was a sorcerer. She wasn’t exactly thrilled when she found out. So she cast a spell on the entire kingdom: he is asleep until he’s awoken by true love’s first kiss. So of course I went off to save him. And she put up one hell of a fight. We’re talkin’ multiple swordfights, field of thorns, she transformed into a fire-breathing dragon. But with her dying fuckin’ breath, she cursed me to an eternity of servitude. Next thing I know, there’s cuffs on my wrists and I’m bein’ sucked into a fuckin’ lamp. I have no idea how long I was asleep in there before some asshole woke me up and started ordering me around. Found out that I’m pretty much forced to do stuff when people say ‘I wish’.

“And there you go. I’m a fuckin’ genie,” Bucky concludes bitterly, staring out the window.

“An’ yah’ve helped so many people,” Remy murmurs.

“Yeah well. It’s not exactly like I had a choice.”

Remy nods. “Ah know how dat feels. Tuh not ‘ave a choice.”

“I’m sure ya do,” Bucky replies, not at all sure and still not really trusting him.

“Ah still ‘ave one wish left.”

“Yeah? Whaddaya want?”

“Bucky… I wish you free.”

Bucky just barely has time to process this before he starts glowing. The cuffs on his wrists glow and crack. The cracks deepen and grow until the cuffs snap completely and disappear. The room fills with light and then the light fades away and Bucky stops glowing. “I… what the hell just happened.”

Remy smirks at him. “You’re free.”

“Holy fuck. That did _not_ just happen.” Bucky examines his wrists incredulously. “I—wish for something. Wish for anything, I don’t care.”

“Ah wish Ah had some jumbalaya.”

Bucky stares at his hands. Nothing happens. “I’m free,” he whispers, eyes filling with tears.

“You’re free,” Remy agrees. “Now go an’ get your prince.”

* * *

The journey was long and stressful, but finally, _finally,_ Bucky is in the castle, climbing the stairs to where his sleeping prince awaits. His heart is pounding when he finally enters the chamber.

Steve looks exactly like he did when they last met: frail, pale, and beautiful, his long eyelashes resting against his bony cheeks, breath steadily rising and falling as he continues his centuries-long peaceful slumber.

“Steve,” Bucky greets, so glad to finally see him again. He leans over the bed and gently lowers his lips to Steve’s.

Steve’s eyelids flutter open. “Bucky?”

“Steve!”

“Bucky!”

The pair embrace. All around them, the kingdom slowly wakes up.

“How long was I out?”

“No idea. Are you all right?”

Steve feels around. “I think so.” He frowns. “Are you gonna have to fight anyone?”

Bucky laughs. “I think that’s over with.”

“I’m kind of surprised you weren’t asleep too.”

Bucky grimaces crookedly. “It’s a long story. The important thing is, we’ve gotta tell your father the truth about us once and for all.”

Steve nods, face set in a serious expression. “He won’t be happy.”

“Tough. The only person I wanna make happy is you.”

“That’s not exactly the sign of a great ruler, Buck.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow. “You wanna go, punk?”

“I’m just sayin’…”

“All right, that’s it. I did not try to get back to you for hundreds of years to get sassed by your damn mouth! Come here you!” He pins Steve to the bed and starts tickling him.

“Ahh! Bucky! Bucky stop!” Steve squeals between peals of laughter, squirming in an attempt to get away.

“I ain’t stoppin’ till you call uncle!”

“Uncle! Uncle!!”

Bucky stops and leans over Steve. “You keep that up, a relative might show up actually thinking you were callin’ your uncle.”

“That would be bad..”

“Why would that be bad?” Bucky leans closer.

“Because they’d catch us doing this.” Steve pulls Bucky in for a long, deep kiss.

* * *

* * *

Steve and Bucky were not allowed to get married. Their parents understood, although they disapproved, but they felt that the marriage would incite a rebellion within their kingdom, one which might overthrow the monarchy, so instead of marriage, Steve and Bucky were permitted to rule side-by-side. The kingdoms were united, and Steve and Bucky proved to be a perfect team. Steve proved to be a born ruler and was universally respected; Bucky was more than happy with his informal position of second-in-command. Behind closed doors, they were known to have quite the passionate relationship. Often, servants would hear mingled groans, heavy breathing, and furniture falling over or repeatedly hitting the wall. The servants gossiped amongst themselves, but the true nature of the relationship never left the castle walls because everyone had too much respect for their rulers.

Remy and Johnny were married, despite neither being ready and neither wanting it. Charles told them to think of it as a formality, that they didn’t have to act married if they didn’t want to. Remy and Johnny would proceed to have many touching moments and work through the sudden marriage in a way that displayed teamwork and compassion. By the time Charles is old, both will prove to be a strong team, neither a great ruler on their own, but together, they will be.

Right after the marriage ceremony, Charles turns to the tall, square-jawed man at his side. “I do hope you’ll be a better royal advisor then my last one, Erik.”

Erik holds Charles’s gaze for much too long, something sparking in his eyes. “I intend to.”


End file.
